Ahh The Onion, always funny, but usually just the headline/last sentence.  Not this time.  In fact, it actually makes a lot of valid points in its sarcasm.

Report: 90% Of Waking Hours Spent Staring At Glowing Rectangles

"We discovered in almost all cases that Americans find it enjoyable and rewarding to put their faces in front of glowing rectangles for hours on end," said Howard West, a prominent sociologist on the Stanford team. "Furthermore, when citizens are not staring slack-jawed at these mesmerizing shapes, many appear to become lost, confused, and unsure of what they should be doing to occupy themselves."

image via me